Derek Mull Blog

My Day At Orange...Part One

2011-03-16T08:05:00.000-07:00

Last week I had the incredible opportunity to spend a day at The Rethink Group (whatisorange.org) offices in Atlanta, GA with some amazing leaders. With Dr. Chap Clark (www.fuller.edu) as our host, we unpacked the principles found in Reggie Joiner and Cary Nieuwhof's book, "Parenting Beyond Your Capacity." To say it was "eye-opening" would be an understatement! Its going to take me awhile to process all the information we covered, but I wanted to share my experience with you. So here is part one of my day at Orange...

Shortly after arriving at the Rethink offices and meeting the other student pastors who were taking part in this forum, we jumped right in and began filming. Below are some of my notes from our first session:

*Disclaimer! The vast majority of this information comes directly from Dr. Chap Clark.

Widening the Circle

-Parents need 2 things from churches

1. Baseline information

2. Ability to process that data

-Parents need to pursue "strategic" relationships for your kids.

-We need to push beyond/past affinity to something that is mutual.

-We are in a new paradigm, because never before have our kids been more on their own!

-Our kids are desperate for relationships WITHOUT an agenda.

-Non-Parental, but invested adults affect and influence our children greatly.

Bottom line: Everything we thought we knew about our children and students has changed. Not only does our information need to be updated, but so do our systems. If churches don't get more intentional about helping our parents "widen the circle" of influence in our kid's lives, they will look some place else. That can't happen. The local church is still the hope of the world and best positioned to resource parents.

When Moses addressed "the congregation" in Deut 6 he is not inclusive re: parenting. The body of Christ is just as responsible for training and raising our kids as moms and dads. But we have to be on the same page. We have to communicate. We have to care. We have to "Widen the Circle."

Stay tuned for part two...

Big Moments

2011-02-25T07:43:00.000-08:00

Life is hard. Sometimes too hard. Many people walk through difficult situations and circumstances without any hope of things getting better. But what if we understood "how" God wants to use those difficult circumstances to grow our faith? Sounds crazy, right? You might be surprised at how often God allows us to experience pain or hurt in order to grow and stretch our trust in Him.

I recently concluded a series by Andy Stanley entitled: Grow Up. For six weeks I communicated to my students ways they could grow their faith. We talked about things like:

*Living the Big Life and how when it comes to growing our faith, doing, not knowing, is what makes the difference.

*Being on the Big Team and how God uses relationships to impact and grow our faith.

*Engaging in the Big Give and how spiritual disciplines grow our faith and show us both God's heart and ours.

*Getting involved in the Big Serve and understanding there is a direct connection between your faith and your willingness to serve others.

And what's interesting is that not only are each of these areas critical to growing our faith, but they are also areas that we have control over. But what about the areas we don't have control over? What about the pivotal circumstances that we all experience that feel like hell on earth when going through them, but ultimately define and refine us into the person that God wants us to become? If you are like me, you have no problem allowing God to grow your faith when you are dealing with areas of your life that you have a measure of control over. But when God allows you to walk through something that removes every level of control from you (so that He may be glorified)...well that's a whole different ballgame. That's when the "push back" comes and we tend to say, "whoa, wait a minute Lord. I didn't sign up for this. Isn't there a less painful way?" But here's the thing...We can't have Big Moments without going through some Big Disappointments.

John 11:1-45 tells the story of a man named Lazarus who had died and then been brought back to life through the power of God. If you have ever experienced the pain of losing someone you love, you can imagine how this would have affected Lazarus's family, friends, and community. And its interesting that Jesus allowed these events to play out the way they did. He could have made it so that his friend (Lazarus) was healed from the sickness that took his life. But Jesus knew there was a better way to build their faith. He allowed them to go through the pain and despair of death in order to bring them out on the other side. But Why?

Because He knows that when you and I are going through our pivotal circumstances, God is doing something in us, so that He can ultimately do something through us! Its those Big Moments in our lives that have the potential to expand and stretch our faith like nothing else.

Bottom Line: It's not what happens to you, but how you respond to it that matters most.

Living the Big Life!

2011-01-12T19:39:00.000-08:00

Do you ever wonder if there is more to life? I do...all the time. I especially wonder about this when it comes to church. Sometimes (in the middle of a service) I'm thinking, "God, is this it? Is there all there is? Isn't there more?" The obvious answer to all of these questions is...Yes. But why do we so often miss it?

The simple truth is our strategy is bad. We fall into the trap of believing that if we absorb the knowledge of God's word, or if we show up to church every time the doors open, then it will please God and he will grant us His divine favor. And all of that sounds good, but it keeps our perspective of who God is and how He desires to interact with us very small. The reality is that God wants us to have a BIG LIFE! He wants our faith to grow each day! He wants more for our lives than what we are currently experiencing! But how do we do it? What's the secret to obtaining a Big Life?

First, we need a better strategy. Knowledge and information only get you so far. You have to take it a step further...you've got to do something with that knowledge. Too many Christians process information, but do nothing with it. That's dumb. You will unlock a whole new level to your faith when you act.

Second, do the "right" things. Take your cue from the truth of God's word. A great place to start is the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus really covers the bases...love, kindness, forgiveness, generosity, and much more. Don't waste time doing things you think are right. Find out what God wants you to do, and then go for it.

Finally, go BIG or go home! Don't stay in your "comfort" or "safe" zone. Apply God's word to the areas of your life where you need His help. Your faith will never be stretched beyond your willingness to give God control.

God wants you to live a Big life! What are you waiting for?

Shift

2010-04-05T10:17:00.000-07:00

I just recently finished an Easter series with my students entitled, "Shift." And after 13 years of ministry, I realized this is the first Easter based series I have ever done. Not sure why, but I suppose I figured preaching / teaching about the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ was the common thing to do at this time of year, and I didn't want to be typical. Even as I typed the previous sentence I thought how stupid my rational was. And now that I have concluded this series, I realize that I have missed so many opportunities over the years to unpack the greatest story ever told.

Over the last month I have watched a "shift" occur in not just my student's lives, but mine as well. From the time Jesus began His public ministry he was challenging humanity to look through a different lens, to "shift" their perspective. And never is this more evident than in the events that occurred in the week leading up to and following His death and resurrection. The Triumphal Entry reminds us to shift our expectations from who we want Him to be to who He actually is. The same crowd that cheered for Him would later cheer for His crucifixion because he didn't do things they way they thought He should. The Last Supper initiated a shift in what deliverance would come to mean not just for the Jewish community, but for ALL humanity. He shifted the cross from a symbol of defeat into one of victory. And finally The Empty Tomb would no longer mean the end, but the beginning. Wow! What an amazing picture of what it means to have a relationship with Jesus Christ! Like an automobile, in order to arrive at the desired destination, shifts are necessary. The final week of Jesus' earthly ministry created shifts that are still necessary today.

Consider the last 5 years, 5 months, 5 weeks, 5 days of your life. How many times has Jesus not met your expectations? How many times were you so focused on the past that you missed what God was doing in the present? How many times did you think something was coming to an end, only to find out it was really just beginning? Maybe it's time for a shift...

-- Post From My iPad

The Power of the Tongue

2010-01-21T20:09:00.000-08:00

James 3:6

6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

There are times when I wish God would require mankind to "earn" the right to speak. The tongue is too powerful to be used carelessly. Lately I have been reminded of how destructive we can be with our words. Always ready to defend our actions, we allow our words to become our weapon of choice. The problem is we often do not choose our words with the wisdom they require. And more times than not, we leave a path of destruction that our victims rarely recover from. And for what? So we can be right, so we can feel vindicated or validated?

James described our tongues as being like fire. And like fire, the damage we inflict verbally can spread out of control with total destruction. So why aren't we more careful? Because we're selfish. Because we are insecure. Because we are afraid. We have been given a tremendous power through the use of our words. We have the power to build up and to tear down. We have the power to breathe life or cause total destruction. But even Peter Parker's Uncle knew that with great power comes great responsibility. Being careless with our words can't be an option. Letting our emotions overrule wisdom comes with too great a price. The bottom line is..."think before you unleash the beast." Lives are depending on it and we will be held accountable for the ones we destroy.

Do I dare admit it?

2009-10-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

It's been nearly 4 months since my last blog. Not even sure why I stopped for so long. At any rate, I started a new series last night that may be more timely than I initially realized. What bring us to the place where we just aren't that into God? I mean let's face it, we all have relationships that have faded over time for a lot of different reasons. But is it the ultimate sin when one of those relationships is the one between us and God? I get the perception that the church can make us feel that way. But does it make us less spiritual or more human? I introduced this idea to my students last night and discovered some things. We are human. We all come to a place in our lives where we feel close to God and where we feel miles apart. And the good news and bad news is that it won't always be that way. And when I look in the Bible I find that God's people (Israel) covered both ends of this spectrum continually. I don't have a 3 step formula for fixing this dilemma, but its encouraging to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. Maybe instead of being ashamed that we feel distant from God sometimes, we should just be honest with ourselves (and Him) and own it, admit it, and dare I say, talk about it.

Don't give up on your dreams!

2009-05-26T12:47:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I hopped on a plane to Ft. Lauderdale to watch my older brother, Michael, graduate from Medical School. His dream to become an optometrist began 18 years ago when he took a job working for a local optician. His boss saw "something" in him and encouraged him to dream. Now, 18 years later his boss will now be his partner and he will begin to live his calling to help people "see clearly." My brother is 36 years old and has experienced many discouragements and disappointments along the way. There were so many times he came close to letting go of his dreams and settling for an average life. But God, in his divine wisdom, kept people around him who encouraged him to not let go. Now his dreams have become reality. My brother will help bring clarity to those whose vision has become cloudy. People are counting on him because he didn't give up. Whose counting on you to not give up? What dreams have you let go of? There are a lot of ways to help other "see" clearly, but you can't give up. Let your dream drive you!

Congrats Dr. Michael Mull!!!

Lovesick

2009-05-17T17:11:00.001-07:00

I began a new series a couple of weeks ago that focuses on finding the balance between our relationships with others and our relationship with Jesus Christ. Working with students, I get to see this balance thrown off on a regular basis. Truth is, that it happens so quickly and easily, that we don't even notice it. Samson had this problem throughout his life. He was so focused on chasing women that he neglected his relationship with God. In the end, he became known more for wasting his "talent" than making an impact for the kingdom of God. He lost his identity because of his obsession with his "other" relationships. I'm not saying that relationships aren't good, because the are vital. God created us to be in relationship with each other. The danger is when we don't keep them balanced. Take an inventory of the relationships you value most. How into that person are you? How much time do spend talking to, texting, Facebooking, or thinking about them? Do you only do the things they want to do? Do you spend time with anyone else? Write down you observations and then talk to God about them. If you discover that things are out of balance, ask Him to help you get back on a level playing field. Don't be so lovesick for that person, that you ignore the one who is lovesick for you.

You're Fired!

2009-05-05T12:09:00.000-07:00

I was recently listening to a leadership podcast by Andy Stanley. In it, he referenced the former CEO of Intel, Andy Grove. Before Intel made their big jump from a small chip company to the world of micro-processors, Grove met with his CFO and said the following:

"What if the board decided to get rid of us and bring in someone new? What would he do? Why don't we walk out the door, rehire ourselves and do that?"

As leaders we are in love and often times emotionally attached to ministries we create or are involved in. But sometimes a "fresh eyes" perspective is needed to keep things from outliving their usefulness. The idea of "firing" ourselves may sound strange at first, but we can be guilty of holding onto things for too long. I am discovering that firing myself is not such a bad idea, as long as I am willing to take a good, objective look at things in the process. If I can gain a "fresh" perspective, then I can be "rehired." Ministry will always require change. And change is not something that we generally look forward to. But as my pastor used to say, "To change is difficult, but to not change is fatal."

Recent Gathering

2009-04-30T10:44:00.000-07:00

I spent the early part of this week @ Arc's All Access Conference with some amazing leaders and church planters. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the event:

"Its not as much about my ability as it is my surrender" - Dino Rizzo

"Base your confidence on the fact that God has chosen you" - Greg Surratt

"Focus more on what you are becoming than what you are doing" - Chris Hodges

"Pit Happens" - Ed Young Jr

My Dad Always said "No"

2009-04-22T07:56:00.000-07:00

Growing up, I remember going a lot of different places with my dad. And like all kids, if I saw something I wanted (a toy, a piece of candy, a new bike) I would ask my dad if I could have whatever it was. And without fail, 99% of the time, my dad would reply, "no." Sometimes he even said "no" before I finished the question. In most cases his response was a reaction, not something that was thought through or considered. It used to make me so mad, because I often felt like my request wasn't even considered. So many times, I felt like saying, "would you please hear me out, or could you at least think about it?"

Now I am a dad of three, and my kids ask for something or to do something ALL the time. You know what I say 99% of the time? NO. Just like my dad, its the first thing that rolls of my tongue. Its a reaction, maybe even a learned behavior. Obviously, you can't say "yes" all of the time, but the request should always be considered. Kids and people pick up on it when we react without any thought. I think in most cases, we can handle being told "no" if we feel like our request has been given consideration. We may not like the answer, but we can accept it.

What Comes on a Grilled Cheese Sandwich?

2009-04-17T08:27:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I was in Daytona Beach, Fl for an event called Youth Quest. It had been a long day and and some of us were hungry. About 7 or 8 of us took a quick drive down the beach to the Steak and Shake. As the waitress was taking our orders, I was craving a grilled cheese sandwich. When she asked me for my order, I asked, "what comes on your grilled cheese sandwich?" My friends erupted with laughter as she politely said, "cheese." To this day, I am still tormented by those who were there over the "ridiculous question."

But here is the thing, while it may see obvious what the answer is, I very well could have received something different than my expectation. I had once ordered the same thing, expecting cheese and bread, but received cheese, bread, and mayonnaise. I hate mayonnaise! I learned from that experience, not to assume even when it seems obvious. Our assumptions can lead to disappointment. It always better to get the facts and a clear perspective. Don't be afraid to ask, "What comes on a grilled cheese sandwich?"

Don't Quit!

2009-04-14T06:04:00.000-07:00

There are moments we experience in life that will shape our future. I had one of these moments in 7th grade. Having just been cut from the basketball team, I was desperate to find my niche in the athletic world. My brother was trying out for the school wrestling team, and it seemed like a good idea for me too. After the coach gave us the "I'm going to make a man out of you speech," practice began. While doing a drill called "Merry Go Rounds," a size 13 shoe landed right in my face, knocking me off my feet and onto my back. With a bloody lip and a bruised ego, I walked over to my gym bag, picked it up and walked out the door. This was not the sport for me.

I preceded to call my parents and tell them to come get me. They asked if practice was over, and I responded, "it is for me." When they pulled up to the school they met me in the parking lot. I informed them that I was ready to go, but they informed me differently. My parents let me know that under NO circumstances were they going to allow me to quit. I, of course, asked why? They're response: "Derek, if we let you quit now, you will quit everything you ever start." I ended up wrestling for the next 6 years and won a state title.

That moment shaped so many of my decisions in the years to come. There have been so many times in life and ministry, that I have wanted to throw in the towel and walk away. And every time, I have been brought back to that moment. This past weekend, I was reminded that my Lord and Savior didn't quit. He saw is mission through to the end and declared, "It is finished." I thank God for the wisdom of my parents, and that they loved me enough to make sure I finished what I started. I thank Jesus Christ for loving me enough to not quit. You always have a choice, but the choice to quit will leave you with regret.

Doing vs Being

2009-04-09T08:05:00.000-07:00

Last night I began a new series with my students called: PAUSE.

The whole idea is that we are so busy with the forward motion of life that we rarely stop, pause, and just be. Over the years I have watched many good people who love the Lord become so busy doing the "work of the Lord," that they neglect to spend time with the "Lord of the work." Its a very dangerous place to be, because so many times we substitute doing for being. And in most cases, this is not intentional. But here is what I have observed in ministry with individuals who pour themselves into doing and neglect being:

1. They burn out faster

2. They become bitter

3. They begin to focus on themselves

4. They complain

5. The become ineffective

Don't get me wrong, its important to carry out the work of the ministry, because those who labor are always few, but there must be time carved out for God. Our relationship with Him cannot suffer or the ministry will suffer. So here is the question:

What would it take for you to stop and "be" in the moment with God today?

One, but not the same.

2009-04-06T10:35:00.000-07:00

During the early nineties one of the most famous rock bands of all time, U2 was on the verge of breaking up. They had hit a creative wall as they attempted to record their newest album. It was during this time that Bono received a letter from the Dalai Lama, asking the group to participate in a festival called, "Oneness." Bono was quoted as saying, "While I love and respect the Dalai Lama and the position he takes on non violence, there was just something 'hippy' about this that didn't strike a cord." So he wrote a simple note back to the Dalai Lama saying this, "One, but not the same."

It was after this that U2 recorded "One" and the Achtung Baby album.

I mention this, because I see something similar in the church today. We have so many groups of people who insist on things being done their way and the church is on the verge of splitting wide open. And in most cases, these groups have the same goal; to fulfill God's plan and purpose. They just can't agree on how to accomplish it. And with all the diversity I see in the church today, I am reminded of those timeless lyrics, "We are one, but not the same." Why can't the body of Christ lay down their personal agendas and opinions and find their common ground in Jesus Christ? Why can't they understand that our diversity is what can make us effective instead of what holds us back?

Before David went to fight the giant, Goliath, Saul tried to put "his" armor on him. It didn't fit. It was made for Saul, not David. David knew it, but Saul wanted David to do this "his" way, with what had worked for "him." Saul ultimately realized that what worked for "him" didn't work for David, and we know the rest of the story. God had equipped David with different tools to get the job done. They weren't better or worse, they were just effective. The body of Christ needs to quit bickering and fighting over how things should be done and recognize that God has equipped all of us differently. We are one, but we are not the same.

One more thing...with every day that passed where Goliath went undealt with, he got closer and closer to God's people. While they were focused on the struggles within their midst, the real enemy was getting closer. If the church doesn't stop focusing on whether the music should be this or that, and whether or not we should have coffee in the lobby, we are going to discover that the real enemy has made his way into our camp.

I Don't Want Your Job!

2009-04-01T07:32:00.000-07:00

Over the years I have had the opportunity to meet a lot of people. And more often than not, when they find out I am a student pastor, I hear the phrase, "I wouldn't want your job." And I realize the motivation behind this statement is that teenagers are difficult to work with. With that understanding, my response is almost always, "Its not the teenagers who are difficult, its the parents."

This usually gets a chuckle, but its really not funny. Its true, and that makes it sad. Somewhere a shift in parenting has occurred. There was once a day when a child didn't dare speak to their parents disrespectfully, and now disrespect is the norm (especially from Christian students). I am still amazed when I watch a student disrespect their parent (right in front of me) and the parent just laughs it off. Many of the parents I have encountered in the last 10 years have become more focused on being "liked" by their child instead of being their child's parents. And this leads to all kinds of problems for a student pastor. When attempting to teach students the truth of God's word and bring accountability into their life, the parent wants to have a meeting so it can be explained why you are picking on their kid. And more often than not that meeting doesn't include the student pastor. It's much more common for a parent to "express their concerns" to the senior pastor or a board member. More time is being spent on justifying a student's improper behavior than dealing with the problem at hand.

When did a generation decide that parenting is about catering to kids and making excuses for them? Churches have spent billions of dollars in the area of children's and youth ministry in an effort to win this generation, but we have missed the mark. We should be investing our time and resources into equipping parents to do their job according to God's word. And for the record, Prov 22:6 (train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it) does not mean let the children's pastor or youth pastor fix your kid! It's the parents job to raise their child according to God's word. The children's and youth pastor are there to help.

And sometimes Prov 23:13-14 needs to be implemented. If parents don't start sucking it up and taking their responsibility seriously, we are going to produce the worst Christian generation ever. Let's break the cycle and use the FULL word of God in raising our children, not just the grace and mercy part.

Steps, not Leaps

2009-03-31T07:44:00.000-07:00

I just concluded a series entitled: Forward Motion. The whole premise is that our journey with Jesus Christ is about the steps we take, not the mythical leaps we see. It seems obvious enough, but for most people, a relationship with Christ is seen as a big leap of faith rather than a step in the right direction. We read passages of Scripture like:

Mark 8:34-35 "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and the gospel will save it."

Matthew 5:48 "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

...and we think, "this is impossible!"

Working with students, I see this mentality all the time. But over the last month, I have watched the truth of God's word change the perspective from "I have to make a giant leap" to "I'm gonna take this step, I'm gonna celebrate this step, and I'm gonna ask God to show me the next step when I am ready."

I will always celebrate the first step (accepting Christ) in another's life, but when someone makes the effort to go deeper, It makes me want to shout and scream with Joy! I am proud of the steps so many of my students have taken in the last several months. With every step forward, I am reminded of Jesus' words in Mark 10:27 "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."

Till the next post...